It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. Phyllis Diller
"Because" Just Isn't the Answer



Children are inquisitive by nature. When they are younger, it's usually because they want to better understand something. When they are older, it's because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Regardless of their age, it's imperative that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child understands there is no room for questioning the rules you set forth and the consequences of breaking the rules.


Younger children usually do not understand a lengthy explanation of why it's important that they be home from their friend's home at a certain time or why they aren't allowed to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do strive to do most of the time is to make their parents proud and happy. So when a young child asks "Why?" or "Why not?" when they are told they can't play with something or someone or why they have to obey a rule you've set forth, simply explain to them that "because it makes me happy when you follow the house rules and do what I have asked of you." You should avoid using the term, "Because I said so," as that only adds to the child's frustration and confusion.


Older children, adolescents and teenagers alike will probably require more from your explanation. When they question "Why?" or "Why not?" it's best to directly, honestly and clearly state your reasoning. "I asked you to be home by 10 p.m. because we have to be at the dentist's office first thing in the morning for your check-up and we can't be late." It is also a great opportunity for you to reiterate the consequences of breaking the rule. "If you are not home by 10 p.m., you'll be grounded from going to your friend's house for a week." Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.


Though your child may challenge you by asking your reasoning why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an individual thinker. So try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it's their way of understanding their world around them.

Surrogate Parenting

Thinking about tomorrow today
Says Janice Nodvin, program director of the adult Down syndrome program at the Institute for the Study of Disadvantage and Disability, a nonprofit advocacy organization based in Atlanta, about her now 29-year-old son Evan in today’s Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “Evan is a man, and he should always be treated as a man, even though we sometimes have to help him out.” While doctors predicted that Evan would not live until adulthood, he now works at a senior adult day care center, lives on his own, takes public transportation, votes. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution article is about the issues facing the aging parents of developmentally disabled adults and also notes that ….Nodvin said, transitioning her son into the community has been a tricky dance. Without a personal consultant who helps him cook his meals and gets him to the places he needs to be, theyd be standing still. ……. Nodvin said that many families work so hard to get their children into schools and become self-reliant that they neglect to look at the big picture. She said her institute encourages parents to put a plan in place while they are young enough and strong enough to have a say because, Were still our childs best advocate. Ive worked with families where parents are really aging and the adult with the disability has never been outside the home, Nodvin said. When is that going to happen? When the person gets sick? Today, the expected life span of people with Down syndrome is close to 55 years - up from a median of about 35 years a few decades ago. The same is true for others with developmental disabilities, including cerebral palsy, autism and fetal alcohol syndrome. I guess you could say, I feel that every day with Charlie involves looking ahead to that big, unknown tomorrow. There’s so many uncertainties and so much to think about in advance to provide for him. Yet I always take heart knowing that we’ve done all right thus far growing up together and just hope we can keep walking together on the long road. Tags: asd, asperger, autism, autism blog, disabilities blog, disability, down syndrome, Education, Health, parenthood, schools, special education, special needs trust, teachingShare This (Source: Autism Vox)

Keep in mind the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
However, different options and levels of commitment are available to fit every parent's availability, and with some careful planning and dedication, you can make it a positive experience for both yourself and your child. You certainly don't want your own children to feel that way. Yet we seem to find it's perfectly acceptable to discuss things with them while reading the paper, folding clothes, or working on the computer and then are often left wondering when the lines of communication broke. This lets them know that you're serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. It strengthens and refines small and large motor skills, and it builds stamina and strength. Play enables children to know things about the world and to discover information essential to learning.